18 December 2013

25 Questions To Ask Yourself Before 2014: Part Three

 You guessed it. Part threeee ♥

21. Who do I need to forgive? (feel free to be vague in your actual post answer) Hmmm. This one is tricky. There is only one person that I think I should forgive for the sake of my own life and my own heart, but technically, I already did. Well I wouldn't say I forgave him exactly. I would say I got over it. They will never have my forgiveness because it's not possible, but I am happy that they found their happiness. That to me, me being happy for them and wishing them nothing but the best, is better than any little bit of forgiveness.
22. Where is it time to let go? When you know that you deserve better. Whether it's from someone or something. 

23. What old habits would I like to release? Being so emotional all the time. Sometimes I can be a boss and control them. Other times I'm just a wreck. 

24. What new habits would I like to cultivate? Being more into school. Being more organized and responsible. Just trying harder at life in general and not being so lazy all the time (:
25. How can I be kind to myself? I need to learn hot to focus more on myself & less on everyone else. I want to find what I am passionate about and stick to it. I need to learn when to let go and move on. I need to focus on what I deserve and not what I think I deserve. I want to be more positive and happy with myself and my outcomes. I want 2014 to be my year! 

25 Questions To Ask Yourself Before 2014: Part Two

Yuhp, onto part number two.

11. When did I feel most creatively inspired? Right after I broke up with my ex boyfriend. I splurged a little on myself and bought myself a brand spanking new camera. I really wanted to take a wack at photography but it was short lived. I haven't been motivated much since but, in 2014. I am going to give my photography business a go and really dive in it. 
12. What projects have I completed? Am I boring if I say none? ):

13. How have I procrastinated? I've been slacking in school. I know, I know. WTF Yesenia. Do good in school. Try harder. Nothing I haven't told myself before -.-

14. In what ways can I re-structure my time? This goes with #13. School. I have to make school a priority. Just like I made going to the gym a number one thing in my life, I need to put school up there. I also need to focus less on my love life and my "guy complications", and more on what I'm trying to live by. Go with the flow babe. Go with the flow & take it slow!

15. How have I allowed fear of failure to hold me back? The love department. I was hurt really bad early on this year by someone who I never expected to hurt me, but I got back on the ride of love and boom got hurt again. Oh and what do you know, I jumped right back in it, because I'm a tough bitch like that and guess what. Got hurt again. Mind you this last time wasn't much of a hurt, but more of like a confusion. Anyways, I guess it's more the fear of getting hurt again that's making my love life so complicated. I guess the fear that's really affecting me is someone elses fears of opening up to love again, but that's a whole other topic.

16. Where has self-doubt taken over? That heartbreak really screwed me up. All the little heart jabs after didn't help much either. My self-doubt became more towards myself. Am I not good enough? What did I do wrong? Why does everyone have somebody but me? (Yuhp. Back to the love stuff)

17. When have I felt the most alive? Summer. I was going out and just having fun.

18. How have I taught others to respect me? By showing everyone how independent I am. That is all.

19. How can I improve my relationships? Go with the flow. (: 

20. Have I been unfair to anyone? No. Things happen for a reason. If I ever treated you bad it is because I got treated that way by you in the first place. What goes around eventually comes around.

25 Question To Ask Yourself Before 2014: Part One

I know I am super late and far behind on this. I haven't done a link up in ages & I thought this would be a fun way to reflect on this past year. ♥ This year has been one big crazy hell of a roller coaster ride. Way to many ups and downs. More downs than ups so be it, but I honestly would not change the way it has turned out. The way I see it, is that everything happens for a reason. Whatever that reason may be, it was meant for me. 

1. What am I most proud of this year? The one main thing I am proud of this year is how independent I have become. When I was with my ex boyfriend, I depended on him for everything. I was to afraid to take the bull(s) by the horns and accomplish things on my own. He did everything for me. After we broke up, I learned that I don't need but myself and that I am a lot stronger than I gave myself credit for.

2. How can I become a better _____________? Person. I know this is cliche, but I have always prided myself in being a good person. Yes, I am a good person, but looking back I start to wonder how good of a person I really am. There is so much more that I can offer this world, and so much more I can do to be a better person.

3. Where am I feeling stuck? Stuck is an understatement at this point. As stated before,  this year hasn't been my best. I feel stuck in many different departments. The love department ): The school department, the work, photography, life in general department. 

4. Where do I need to allow myself grace? Not letting my brain or my heart over take my body. I need to find a balance! Most of the time my brain goes one way and my heart goes the complete opposite. 

5. Am I passionate about my career? Nope. Right now I'm just an Administrative Assistant. It's a boring job and not the least bit what I wanted to do. Then again, I still have no clue what I want my career to be.

6. What lessons have I learned? Go with the flow. Simple but understated. Life is to short to be stressed or stressing about everything. Take one day at a time. Now, I'm not saying I've mastered it. Oh no. Not even close. I am working on it though. 

7. What did my finances look like? Paycheck to Paycheck. I went from having enough money to save, to not even being able to save a dime. That's what becoming a single girl does to you. I have managed to keep a budget. I may or may not always stick to it (:

8. How did I spend my free time? Drinking. Partying. Hanging out with my girls. Falling in and out of relationships. You know, the normal 20 something year old stuff.

9. How well did I take care of my body, mind, and soul? Body? At the beginning of the year I wasn't doing so well. I ate anything and everything that had sugar and I never did exercise. Now, I basically live at the gym. I don't miss a day. Mind? It's there. I'm learning how to not over think to much. It's a process. Soul? Still trying to figure that out. The year isn't over yet.
10. How have I been open-minded? I am not negative Nancy anymore. I have a more positive outlook on life.

16 December 2013

A very much needed overdue Update!

Where do I begin?! 

It's been about four long months since I have been to blogland. My life has just been one crazy hectic emotional ride lately. I have so much to talk about, and when I finally do decide to come on here and write all my non important jumble, I get over whelmed and give up. But not today! I am sticking through it. I am really rusty so bare with me people. 

Last time I came on here, I complained about boys. That hasn't changed much. If only it has gotten that much more puzzling. There is this boy, and all I am going to say is It's complicated and I have fallen hard for him. Taking it one day at a time I guess. I'll give you a full update on that when I finally figure out what that is exactly -.- Why must the opposite sex be such a mystery?! Anyways, I guess I'll show you a picture because it's only fair. Plus my body looks amazing!

What else?! hmmm. Oh I started the gym. I lost 10 pounds. I am stuck at 110 now though. Trying to lose the other 10 pounds (yes I want to weigh 100 lbs) is going to be close to impossible, but I love me a challenge (; Oh also I have become a gym selfie whore. But then again who isn't!!

...... & now I've drawn a blank. -.- I think I may be the worst blogger ever. Hey, I said bare with me. I miss blogging so much but I'm not very motivated. Not just blogging though. In fact, lately it's been with everything. I need to find a passion. I should start taking my photography to the next level. I don't know.. Maybe I'll do that. I'm figuring out myself one day at a time. I promise I'll try my hardest not to disappear again, and to have something so much better to engage you in next time. 

In the meantime, if you're really interested in following my boring life, I am always on instagram and twitter so go check me out there. @theyesidiaries

Happy Holidays everyone ♥