08 October 2015

8 people I really hope stub their toes on a coffee table today.

1. The driver out on the street this morning driving as if it was Sunday. You are not driving Miss. Daisy. It isn't raining. It is not Sunday. Person you are causing traffic. There is no one 200 feet in front of you. Why are you breaking? What are you doing???? GO FASTER. Drive safely, but got faster.
2. The co-worker that thought I was his personal assistant as soon as I walked in the office. No, you can not use my pen. No I will not get you a piece of paper that is 1 foot away from you. Stop being lazy get it yourself. No, look up an address for your client by yourself.
3. The boyfriend that didn't text me or call me back last night to say good night. Yes. You.
4. The blogger on twitter who posts up links to their blogs seventeen times. Yes, I have done this a time or two, but then I realize how not ok this is and I delete them. Don't be that blogger. That blogger is annoying. I get it. You're trying to get your blog out into the world. But one little link is more than enough.
5. The radio station that plays the same song three times in one hour. Thank you for making me dislike the one song that I was really into. Now every time I hear it I want to pull my ears out. Out of the billions of songs that you can play, you play the same 5 songs over and over again. Shame on you.
6. The person with the stomach that does not keep quiet. Yes, I know you're hungry. You do not need to remind everyone in the room ever 5 minutes. Go eat a doughnut or something. Someone might think the grumbling sound is a fart.
7. The instagram follower that follows you, but then unfollows you once you don't follow them back. I have the app you know. I know who you are. I can see it's you. Stop creeping.
8. The person who doesn't like junk food or sweets. What is wrong with you? Are you even human? Junk food is gods greatest creation of life. Stuff your face with Pizza and cake. I promise you'll be happy. Fat and happy.

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